Dad, I would like you to understand me. How this is like for me. I want you to give me what I need, now that you know. Can you do that?
Create an environment for this part, to really feel love. Where is it? What does it look like, what does it feel like?
We are on the tip of the peninsula where I was telling him about that I fell into the water. I think it was a gray day then, but I am gonna make the sun come out, and its gonna shine on him, and he understands me.
Crying.
He is asking if I am okay. I am saying: I kind of feel a little bit surprised and ashamed, and I am afraid that you are upset. And he is saying: Oh, did you get hurt?
No, its just that my pants are wet.
Oh! That was relief to hear that!
Crying.
Oh that happened to me too, once or twice, that stuff can happen. Sucks a little bit, that your pants are wet. Is it uncomfortable?
Its kind of okay.
Crying.
You dont need to be ashamed about that, I love you whatever happens – you are my best buddy.
Crying.
And I love to go fishing with you. Wait, let me hug you, so that you know.
Crying.
Thank you.
Yeah, I love you. Its okay. You didn't do anything wrong. It's just water, its just pants. There is nothing you did wrong.
Lets take that part out of the current place, and bring it to a place of love, where you can be with it.
The sun is coming out even more. Hey, I think it is possible it could dry out your pants, if you are not embarrassed to be in your underpants for a little bit. If you want you can have my pants. Hey, or we could try do make a fire. Come, on lets hug some more.
Crying.
Its quite upsetting, ha?
Yeah, I was afraid you don't like me.
It's okay. Yeah, shit happens. You probably learned from it, ha?
Yeah, I am gonna watch out. I know it can be slippery there.
Laughing.
Crying.
I know I'm okay.
What does it sound like? What does it smell like?
Smells like this fishy water, kind of small, and its quite warm now. I think the pants are gonna dry just on my skin. It's gonna be fine. Some birds. I am glad that there is no cold wind. But then we are gonna, you know, just drive back and do something else, like just talk.
Ask this part now to release all that burden, that it carries. How would you like to release it, so that the energy gets transformed?
It's just like I want to feel the water in my pants - its evaporating as we are in the sun, and I keep hugging my dad and feel really warm. I know I am okay. And I don’t need to worry about why what I do or what I did was wrong, and I wont be loved because of it. There is nothing I did wrong. There is just things that happened.
What does it look like? What does it feel like?
Its very sunny and warm, and I feel relief and love. I know he really likes me, and he loves to see how I learn from my “mistakes”.
Lets bring into the scene all the protectors, so that they can see and witness the transformation.
The Shaman can see that he doesn’t have to worry about if K. loves me or not, because there is nothing I did wrong, it was just like it was meant to be. To learn. And that’s what I love about myself, and I know that’s also what she loves. He is relieved. He still wants to help me to stay aware, without shame and without attachment to anything from the past. Staying present. Oops, there is something that happened. Learning.
How do they feel like?
Relieved, care, appreciation, love. And they know how to find love without attachment to a specific thing, or a specific person. Trusting that I am okay with making mistakes.
How do you feel like?
Warm and calm. I really like this place, feel loved and I love. And it doesnt matter if I am physically close or far, part of her life or not. Feeling connected. And I really want the best for her, her needs to be fulfilled. If her needs are not fulfilled, mine can’t be. I want her to be happy.
Ah, yes.
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