Create an environment for this part, to really feel love. Where is it? What does it look like, what does it feel like?
The teacher is taking me by the hand and I am very close, just a few feet away from this door to the outside. So he is going outside with me to have a one on one conversation, out into the sun. And he is saying: David, I feel concerned and confused about what happened yesterday, because I noticed at some point that you were just gone from the group. And you didn’t talk to me or anything, and other people also didn’t really know, where you are. So I was really scared and concerned, because I thought that maybe something happened to you, and that’s a very scary thought. That never happened to me before. I was relieved to find out that you were at your parents house, and you were just taking off, and it made sense to you, because you really close to home. But I would have liked if you would have told me about that beforehand, so that I know where you and I am not scared. And I am not trying to look for where you are. And I am curious about what was happening for you and why you made that choice.
I wanted to be free to go home, and I was very close and I knew everything, but I was scared that that doesn’t matter. That my self-trust doesn’t matter, because I need some signature from my parents, some stupid paperwork that I didn’t get. So that’s why I didn’t trust that I was, that I could talk to you about this, because I need the paperwork. That’s why I was not open about what I wanted. Sorry I was disregarding what you need, that was very scary for you and I understand. I didn’t want to go all the way back to school, and then go back, that was just too stupid. Its not that I don’t care about you.
Lets take that part out of the current place, and bring it to a place of love, where you can be with it.
We are hugging each other and that’s okay. I get the sense that that’s okay. And I am okay and he is okay. All that it needs is openness and communication. I feel warmth.
Yeah.
Ask this part now to release all that burden, that it carries. How would you like to release it, so that the energy gets transformed?
I would like to set that paper on fire that I would have needed. To have permission to be myself. And its okay to be myself and to openly communicate that. That I trust myself.
Laughter.
What does it look like? What does it feel like?
Oh, these little bits of ashes are flying away in the wind. Its such a relief. To have permission from someone else to be. I also don’t need support from someone else to be okay.
Imagine for a moment, that this part is merging back into the body, with all that feeling that just emerged, into every single cell.
Oh it's electrifying, energizing.
Lets bring into the scene all the protectors, so that they can see and witness the transformation.
The Patriarch Tree is really happy, because that’s exactly what he wants, how he is imagining a shining glowing boundary, instead of a defensive one. This is who I am.
There is no need to defend that or to get other people to respect that.
How do they feel like?
Relieved and happy, much stronger and more loving.
How do you feel like?
I feel really happy and I am so glad that this is working so well. Grateful for IFS and grateful for K. pushing me with her parts. And I feel moved when I think of all of these people that have been part of my development, almost glad about that I was coding this program that helps me to hear myself. I am really enjoy discovering my unconscious motivation to come here in the country that is requiring paperwork for me to be allowed to be here, and I was trying to re-live this trauma, and to arrive at this point was necessary for me to re-experience that to heal and to become free. I feel grateful.
Crying.
And also feeling for other people I might have caused pain, like I have caused discomfort and pain and fear for my teacher, and I caused that for K. I can see that better, I can see myself. I can see and feel what has been hidden from me for such a long time. 30 years.
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